Friday, August 07, 2009

Like Sand through the Hand of God

I remember various times sitting before various spiritual masters. Some of them weren’t actually spiritual masters. They were people who had developed certain Siddhis which gave them the appearance of power, wisdom or poise. They might have been well intentioned for the most part. Good intentions would be more useful if good and evil weren’t playing musical chairs all the time.

Back in the day there used to be these professional disciples. Some of them actually called themselves ‘guru whores’. They’d move from one teacher to another, like bees among the flowers and they took a certain pride among their associates in comparing how many masters they had met and telling the tales about how this one blew them away this much and that one blew them away this much and so on and so forth.

After Rajneesh hit the scene a different sort of disciple started showing up. These were no longer guru whores... well, maybe, maybe not but they were more intent on becoming spiritual masters themselves and, if you are on the scene then you know just how many of these folks there are. Some of them just went right into business because that had all been explained to them now and business was okay now. Everything was okay now. I don’t mean they went into the business of being gurus, though some did, I mean business period.

There was a time you could go to Goa and see quite a selection of them and, with the emergence of Tantra, a lot of them got into the business of sex magic. This doesn’t mean there was anything magical about their sex but rather that they used particular seduction games and they probably explained to themselves that they were, ‘harvesting power’ or opening people up or making us all one, one encounter at a time. You could find gurus handing you a pen so that you could write your cellphone number on their leg.

The book publisher who used me as an object lesson of what happens to someone who does business with a Crowley fanboy has a forum where a lot of these burned out tantrics get together and troll for the younger males who come and go in search of something other than what they wind up getting. These globe-trotting tantrics may have once been hetero but not any more. There’s a spiritual reason for this but I’m not inclined to get into discussing it at the moment.

I’ve never gotten along with Roger Nietzsche’s and I never trusted Osho, nee Rajneesh. The people who would argue with me about my distrust always let me know I was repressed for taking exception to his promotion of sexual license. I take no back seat to anyone in terms of sexual license. You could say that I frolicked freely. However, I never taught it as a lifestyle and I never assumed I was doing what I should when I wasn’t doing what I should. The way I saw it, I had to pass through it or it was going to burn me up. The good news is that I’m not over on that forum, trolling for young boys while purring on about spiritual mysteries refracted through the dead pools of my eyes.

I’ve never gotten along well with most devotees except for the Hare Krishna’s, which I am fond of and who include among their ranks some truly sweet people. I don’t get along with most devotees because most devotees haven’t bothered to live to the fullest before realizing it’s not the way. Most of them decided they knew all about it without ever having engaged it and are now full on authorities sans experience, the way Catholic priests know all about the meaning and hardship of the sex they don’t practice and so can advise their constituents about all of it’s facets while their own sexual forces break through the weakest link in the chain.

A lot of devotees don’t evolve much before they move on into the real life that they knew all about when they rejected it the first time. They can sit in front of the master for years and still be asking the same questions and never tumble to the fact that they are a dog chasing its own tail. There will be no solutions at that particular level because it is an endless loop.

What a spiritual master is supposed to do is to light the lamp of aspiration within and then guide you- according to your trust and focus- through the timeless routines, obstacles and tests encountered by every seeker who ever went looking. A real spiritual master has got you coming and going and the degree of his/her love and support of you is beyond your comprehension.

At any time in this world there are only a few, real spiritual masters. These days the bogus bin is overflowing and the fountain of the living waters is obscured by the darkness of the times. It stuns me that people actually think they are living in civilization and that this modern world is a high point in recently recorded history. This is because we confuse technology with civilization and civilization with organization and eventually everything gets really dis-organized like the way it is now.

We all have duties and debts. This is why I am not in the Himalayas where I wish I was; Shambhala, which I don’t deserve ...or in that permanent psychedelic state I haven’t earned yet.

I used to have a lot of character defects. Some, with more of their own than they know about, might say I still do. The source of many character defects is the ceaseless ability to see them in others through the length of each following day. You’ll note that this is something small children do not do unless it’s already been drummed into their heads. These days I have managed to drop a lot of them and outrun some others but... some of them just won’t go away. I realize now that it is beyond my capacity to rid myself of them and no amount of effort on my part is going to move them an inch. That’s what a spiritual master is for and one does need to come to this particular realization before the master can accomplish their removal.

Sometimes these flaws are left in long past their sell-by date for inscrutable reasons. Mostly they remain so long as our focus is on others because, it is truly said, “they know not what they do.” I’ve found that when you come to the point of surrender and cannot surrender it is because of a particular point needing to be made and that is the full understanding that ‘everything is under control’. When I say everything, I mean everything. I can grasp this intellectually but oh... the difficulty of full acceptance is a labor unlike any other. This is why we should inexplicably be grateful for being crushed. We can’t flow through God’s hand until we have been pounded into sand.

I’d say that the entirety of my life these days is awaiting the arrival of the certainty in the certitude, the assurance in the faith and the final, unshakeable determination within the state of being determined. I can’t go any further on my own; not that I ever took a single step under my own power.

As hard as these times are they are the best of all possible times for realization for those so inclined. I can, we can, only throw ourselves upon the mercy of the court. I wish I could do more but that’s probably how I got into trouble in the first place.

Visible sings: 911 was an Inside Job by Les Visible♫ Something Good (is Coming Soon) ♫
'Something Good (is Coming Soon)' is track no. 10 of 10 on Visible's 2002 album
'911 was an Inside Job'

Lyrics (pops up)

911 was an Inside Job by Les Visible

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